Dying Inside
by AMMCS17
Summary: They had a purpose for each other. He was her protector, she was his light. But now, it seems that leaving her made the darkness come back... Perhaps, he was destined to be with the darkness... not with her.


**A/N: **This used to be a songfic, but someone informed me that it's prohibited by using lyrics that are published. The copyright was applied. Anyway, I thought it still looked like a story even without the song. So... here you go. :)

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**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own** Rurouni Kenshin**. It is owned by **Watsuki-sama**.

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Dawn broke over the city of Tokyo as he stood there for a minute, outside the Kamiya Dojo. He hesitated, but he started walking away again.

But, why does he have to leave _that_ soon? He never even said to her that he's _leaving_. Because _another_ farewell might hurt him again, inside...

He stopped at the middle of the familiar street, he hadn't noticed that he was already far away from the dojo... from _her_.

Last night was his last night with her.

'_I'm sorry, Kaoru..._'

Then he remembers...

He remembers that night, they were there in her room. He was there to calm her nightmares, nightmares that haunted her every night since that formidable event. Back then, he often asked her about it but she just simply falls silent or changes the subject. He, on the other hand, just understood her and never asked her again.

He was always there for her, comforting her, trying to calm her nightmares down. That's the reason why she fell in love with _him_... and maybe, just maybe, that's why he fell in love with _her_.

He was in a sitting position, his back on the wall. Her back leaned on his scrawny, yet, soft chest, she was in his warm embrace. The moonlight lit her face, showing her features. She seemed more beautiful while she's sleeping, he thought. He gently fidgeted with her long, black hair, thinking if he should go now or stay until she's awake.

Hours have passed by so quickly. He used these hours thinking, doubtful of his decision. Is he really going to leave _her_?

He looked upon the beautiful face before him for the last time. He kissed her on the forehead and he gently laid her down back to her futon, tucking her in the warm blanket. Seconds later, he found himself in the middle of the streets.

He started walking again, in the midst of dawn, daylight was breaking out of the horizon. Oh, how he wished to stay, but it is... _inevitable_ that he had to leave her...

He never had to hide anymore, because of her. She was the one who drove away all his demons. She had lit up the darkness in him...

They had a purpose for each other. He was her protector, she was his light. But now, it seems that leaving her made the darkness come back...

Perhaps, he was destined to be with the darkness... not with _her_.

'_Perhaps..._' He thought. He continued walking away... in broad daylight... But, inside, he's dying 'cause of the darkness, swallowing him whole.

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Kaoru woke up, the daylight shining on her face. As she sat up, she gently rubbed her eyes. She looked around the room, seemingly looking for someone.

'_He must have went to his room..._' She thought. She stood up, went to the said room and slid open the door, only to find no one inside. She found a folded piece of paper on top of the table in the room. We know that she must not be snooping around, but she has a gut-feeling that she has to...

As she opened it, she found out that it was meant for _her_.

Good morning, Kaoru-san! I hope you slept well.  
Sorry for not telling you this earlier but,  
I am leaving or... I have already left.  
I decided to wander again. It seems that I  
haven't found the answer yet. For the  
three years I have wandered since I  
started, seemed nothing. But after that,  
for the two years I have spent with you,  
was a great _new_ start for me. You helped me  
find my way, now it's time for me to take it.  
I wish I could stay longer but I would be  
taking for granted your kindness and  
hospitality.  
I am going to wander for five more years.  
Or more. Maybe I'd find the answers then.  
My stay with you and Yahiko-kun was more  
than worthwhile. I wish I can tell you, but  
I just don't know how to put it in words...  
Sorry again for not telling you... I hope you'd  
forgive me.  
But... maybe, we'd meet again after those  
five years... I really hope we do.

**:)**

Seeing that little drawing of a smiling face, she knew that he never felt the same. He _never_ loved _her_. Another factor was that he _left_ her. He was still that same emotionless, smiling man she found walking on that street, on that fateful day. He _doesn't_ care about her. Who said, anyway?

These thoughts went through Kaoru's mind... A single tear has dropped on the letter she was holding, causing the ink to scatter on the paper. After that, more tears came, flowing like a river. She never knew that some tears were still left since that formidable day. The day when Himura Kenshin died.

She mourned for his passing everyday since then, she even had nightmares about it, too. But all of those went away since _he_ came... They both benefited each other, in a way, when she was his light, he was her protector. But, leaving her made her vulnerable.

'_Soujiro..._'

...Inside, she's dying, too, slowly being consumed by the nightmares.

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**A/N:** Okay, okay. Drama, right? But I want a sad story once in a while... Don't you? xD

Please don't kill me for killing Kenshin! *hides behind the couch and waves a white flag* I need Kenshin dead so that SouKao would work out... (That kinda turned out wrong... ^_^" )

Okay, I'm bringing back up the SouKao fandom, again. And I'm also bringing back up the SouMi one. For me, the SouMi pairing is the cutest! But I still love SouKao. :) No offense to KenKao and AoMi fans, I love those ships too, you know. xD

You can check out my SouMi fic, "The Laundry Mission". I hope you really do. :)

Please, don't forget to leave a review! :D


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